I Love You
by Merodii Seisakusha
Summary: Years after the death of my lover, after hiding from the memories of our time together, I'm forced to face the memories that hurt more than I ever thought possible...


**Author's Notes: **Okay :) its my first attempt at fan-fiction so don't attack me too too bad. This is just a short introduction. I know its super super short but my bestie was getting impatient for me to start posting so here you go! Enjoy :)

**Warnings: **YAOI!!!! This is a yaoi work :) if you don't like boy x boy, then get out. Don't give me bad reviews because you're too close minded and homophobic to handle a romance story with two boys. Okay T_T now that i've got that out of my system.

**Pairings: **AkuRoku, AxelxZexion, possibly some SoraxRiku later :) just cos. come on. you _know _they're meant to be together. Sora was more concerned with finding Riku than he was Kairi the whole time :) sooo cute. don't try to argue :)

**Disclaimer: **Seriously -_-; why would i own Kindgom Hearts. I don't.

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"I love you"

Underneath the covers, I shifted my weight, a completely unnoticeable gesture that broke two hearts at once. It was a defensive change in position. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, silently gasping for breath; careful to make sure the gorgeous blonde couldn't hear me,

He knew by that simple movement that I was never going to say it back. The blonde pressed the side of his face against my bare back and sighed, warmth spreading across my spine, a perfect contrast to the cold sweat that broke across every inch of my body.

I was scared, now more than I ever have been. Those three words brought up forbidden memories, memories that I thought had been buried so deep, nothing could awaken them from their deep sleep.

But, oh God, was I wrong. Fear tore through my veins like acid as horrible, beautiful memories arose in my mind. Your gorgeous perfect silver blue hair, fallen in your face. The tight grip of your hands around mine, as I gave you my love in the most passionate I could. In my mind, I could see your eyes. Those perfect blue eyes. There wasn't a word that could describe them and do them justice. The only pathetic excuse for a description I could come up with was perfect. It wasn't good enough for you. Nothing I ever did was good enough for you. You thought it was, sure. You loved me for it. But I knew there was nothing in this world good enough for you.

Your last words rang in my mind like a song that plays on repeat for hours and hours in your head, "Axel, I love you. Don't cry." Your crooked smile. That irresistible crooked smile that made me melt. Every. Fucking. Time. "We have the next life, baby." Your hand reached up wearily and touched my face, a place that feels warm on my body still today. "I love you Axel" You closed your eyes for the last time, as your hand fell limp in mine. All the while, I sobbed incomprehensively words that were supposed to come out as, "no no no no I love you don't leave me please no no no." You know… It took three men to pull me off of your limp, lifeless body, still so warm and soft.

I cringed into a tighter ball under the weight of the boyish figure.

"Axel.. I-I'm so sorry… I knew… I'm so selfish… I'm so sorry…" Roxas

didn't deserve this. A demented boyfriend with a heart scarred beyond repair. But Roxas wasn't the selfish one. He was all I had and I needed him more than was comprehensively possible. Slowly, and hesitantly, I released my legs from my vice-like grip and straightened out. I turned myself around and took Roxas' face in my hands.

"I'm yours." I stared into those wide ocean-blue eyes through the tears, the eyes that reminded me so much of yours. "Is that enough for now?" I ran my fingers through his soft, sandy blonde hair. I didn't wait for him to answer. I knew it was. "I'm so fucking selfish Roxas…" I all but whispered the words.

"No…" He took his turn to run his fingers through my shockingly red hair. "You're perfect."

Before the shock of those words managed to bring back memories for the second time tonight, I whimpered, "Save me."

And for the second time tonight, Roxas was my savior, in the form of an amazing passionate lover, whispering words of forever in my ear, but never once mentioning those three words that held my heart captive.

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**Afterwords: **So it wasn't HORRIBLE was it? :) review please. i'll respond to every single one ^_^ i promise i will. And i should update soon. I got a lot of school work right now but i'm working on it :) Thank you for the criticism/praise/horrible attacking in advance :) and by the way. If you want to read some amazing Kingdom Hearts yaoi, read some of Beutelmaus's works ^_^ amazing.


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